I got an email from my team captain last week that casually reminded me that we only have 20 more weeks of training till the start of PQ.  My face got long, my feet felt like lead, a sinking feeling settled inside of me as a glimmer of panic raced across my mind.  I am half way there.

You see, alongside the decision to make good on my promise to myself to compete in Primal Quest came the commitment to train for it as well.  That was 42 weeks ago.  The reason for the panic is that Kim reminded me that I am half way through the time I have given myself to prepare for this experience and needless to say, I don’t feel prepared at all.  In fact, I can honestly say I am feeling a bit frantic.

I just see that these past thirty days or so haven’t been very productive for me when it comes to training.  I came out of the box with my feet on fire in January and then February came along with its fair share of setbacks.  Now, I know that overcoming obstacles can technically be considered part of “training”, but hell, I have been doing that all my life.  That is not the part that concerns me.  I am talking about the physical part.

I am talking about working through injury and a nasty chest cold.  That is what worries me.  It has been a long, slow month for the physical part of my training and I feel like I have lost so much of the momentum and benefits awarded me from my previous hard work.  I know that so much of racing is mental, so I guess if I accepted that I am an elite mental case right now, then that in itself is good training.  Hell, I am so good I am Olympic calibre.

Seriously though…I have been on the stationary bike most of this week to get the ankle rehabilitated and I am still pushing iron.  I just don’t feel like that is enough.  I just don’t feel like I have pushed myself hard enough to warrant the confidence that should come with the realisation there are only 20 weeks to go.  I keep wondering where the “cool kids” would be in their training.  You know…people like Kloser, Bennicasa, Fav’re, Prince, Adamson, and the like.  How do they do it?  In my mind I picture them preparing themselves by being attached to some medieval torture device about now and yelling, “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

I guess I know inside that if I could just sit for a moment and contemplate what my body and mind are telling me…if I let the myriad of conflicts and setbacks fade into the distance…if I close my eyes and quiet my mind into meditative silence I may be able to hear the answer like gently opening the fortune cookie of my psyche.  The wisdom will present itself to me.  Yes…that’s it…I think I am getting something.  Yes…there is a message coming through.   Yes…it’s coming in clearly…

Oh….nice…..very damn funny.

It appears that little voice inside me is a comic masochist too.  It said, “Quit your whining, nancy boy.  Shut the hell up and train!.”

Until next time…..TODD
Quest4PQ@gmail.com

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